The Yaoi Fighters
by ferriswheel
Summary: Kurama’s sick of yoai. Together with other KuramaXother boy victims, he’s determined to stop the madness. But with all the writers out there, is it even possible?
1. We're Not Gay! Except Karasu

FW: Ah, my triumphant return!

Kurama: Hardly what I'd call "triumphant".

FW: Beggars can't be choosers. So anyway, I was gone so long because… of summer camp. And I kinda forgot to tell you guys before I left...

Hiei: Two weeks. They went by fast.

FW: Some parts did, other parts… (shudder)

Yusuke: What?

FW: You… actually care?

Hiei: No. We enjoy your suffering.

FW: FINE! I'm not telling you then! (angrily writes chapter) You'll regret this….

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, print shop, or Star Wars

Summary: Kurama's sick of yoai. Together with other Kurama/other boy victims, he's determined to stop the madness. But with all thewriters out there, is it even possible?

START

"You've got mail!" The annoying computer voice chimed. The genius Kurama was stupid enough to click the little envelope shining on the screen.

Out popped… a picture of himself. With Hiei sitting on his chest. Did I mention Kurama wasn't wearing a shirt?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daggers slicing into his skin, monsters that shouldn't exist in anything but a child's fairy tale, or watching death in high numbers, didn't faze the fox. Looks like one print-shop image did the job though.

"Mind shutting up? Or at least giving me a warning next time?" Hiei snarled, walking into Kurama's room. It had been raining last night, so he'd decided to spend the night with his friend, much to the house owner's "delight".

"Sorry Hiei, I just wasn't prepared for another," the redhead apologized, still staring fixedly at the screen.

Curious, Hiei stepped a little closer, noting the image as well. "Kurama…" he started.

"Yes?"

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

Kurama glared. "Believe it or not, no."

"…Is there something you SHOULD tell me?"

The fox glared more, deleting the picture. "This isn't my work. Someone's sent it to me, again. Apparently, they think it's "cute" and want to "push me in the right direction"," he recited from the last horror he'd received.

"Girls?" Hiei asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course."

"How do they know about us?" Hiei demanded. "Aren't Spirit Detectives top secret?"

The redhead raised an eyebrow. "You don't know? Look," he gestured behind them, not bothering to look himself. Hiei glanced back and stared at this new target: two humans operating a camcorder. Why two humans were needed was unknown, but it didn't change the fact. One sheepishly waved, while the other saluted, winking.

Disturbed, Hiei turned away. "How long have they been following us?"

Kurama didn't blink, just kept surfing online. "Quite some time, really. We're broadcasted on a TV series too. Yu Yu Hakusho, I think it's called."

"What kind of stupid name is that?"

The fox shrugged, not really interested. "Anyway, they're always there."

"Always…?"

"Well, they do sometimes take coffee breaks, and sometimes take time off the watch Star Wars, but for the most part…." He smirked at the slightly freaked out fire demon. "How did you think Koenma keeps track of our lives on his giant TV screens?"

Unfortunately, while the two discussed this, his computer contacted yet another e-mail. This time, it didn't require the pc owner's consent by clicking an envelope, it just opened of its own accord. "You've got porn!" It announced as a more… revealing photo of the two jumped on screen.

"We've really got to do something about this," a new voice chimed, from behind the gaping friends.

"KURONUE!" Kurama yelled, jumped out of his seat and falling ever so "gracefully" onto the carpet.

The chimera grinned at the reaction. "Surprised?"  
"That's an understatement," the demon-human regained his composure. "Considering you're dead."

Kuronue waved off the remark. "You should know by now no one stays dead in this series." He did have a point. Yusuke, Genkai, Kurama (sort of), Yusuke…. Kurama shook his head, deciding to just accept it and save everyone some trouble.

Moving on, Kuronue added, "Oh, right, I almost forgot. On the way, I found someone else who said he was tired of being paired with you, er, no offence, or anything," he added.

"None taken," Kurama assured him. "Who is it?"

"I would have thought you'd remember, my dear…" another familiar voice chimed, from directly above Kurama's head. Glancing up, the fox soon wished he didn't, as Karasu let go of his hold on the ceiling, and fell directly on top of Kurama.

Needless to say, Kurama wasn't thrilled, and started madly struggling underneath the crow, powers momentarily forgotten.

Hiei unsheathed his sword, and was at the redhead's aid in a second, Karasu only having enough time to dodge. The cost came in the form of having to move off the fox.

"Bad idea?" Kuronue sweat dropped, referring to his bringing the dark demon.

"Another understatement," Kurama muttered.

"What do you want?" Hiei demanded now, of both of them.

"The same you want," Karasu started.

"To save our good names, and stop being thought of as gay Kurama lovers!" Kuronue finished.

Kurama looked at Karasu, not fully understanding. "But you are gay."

Karasu shrugged.

"Why are you really here?" Kurama asked, knowing full well the answer…

"To stalk you."

The redhead groaned. The price of always being right….

"It does seem like a decent plan, stopping all this "yoai", they call it," Kurama thought out loud, considering. He made up his mind. "I'll assist you."

Kuronue nodded, grinning. "Obviously, I'm in."

Karasu, still looking at Kurama, added, "I'll join your cause, also."

"Why?"

"Because you'll be in it." Kurama really wished he could keep his mouth shut.

The three turned to the last demon: Hiei. "Do you really expect me to join your cult?" He asked, annoyed at the very idea.

Smirking evilly, Kurama said, "So you enjoy being paired with me all these times? Actually, I think I've seen you with Yusuke before, and even," he paused for drama, "Kuwabara."

That did it. "Fine."

Typing quickly, Kurama wrote up a sort of contract for the new members, naming themselves "The Yaoi Fighters".

They all signed it, with Hiei's comment of how stupid the name was.

Karasu took the paper last. "Astonishing…" he murmured.

"What?" Kuronue asked, looking over his shoulder.

"You spelled your own name wrong," Karasu said, looking down at the misspelled word.

"What?" Kuronue grabbed the paper. "No, you just can't read, you stupid bat!"

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Aren't YOU the bat?"

"Well what're you supposed to be?" The bat asked, defensive. "We've got a bat, a fox, a crow, and, what, a monkey?"

"Dragon."

Kurama looked around at the misfits gathered and arguing in his room. "What have I just signed up for?"

END CHAPTER 1

FW: Well, as with all my works, hopefully it'll get better.

Yusuke: But don't get your hopes up, because it probably won't.

FW: Yeah, I know. Anyway, I have NOTHING against gays/bis/lesbians, I've got close friends who are. And I have NOTHING against people who write/read yoai. If you're going to flame me for what I'm writing, have fun, but I hope you read this thing here first.

Kuwabara: Are me and Urameshi gonna be in this at all?

FW: No clue. I have no idea what my next chapters'll be. Hopefully, it'll come to me….

Kuronue: But it probably won't.

FW: That's about it. So anyway, review if you want, don't if you don't. If you want to flame, ok. Have the guts to write your penname though, will ya? Anyways, if you do flame, I'll take it in stride!


	2. Manly?

FW: Wow! I've got reader response! Thanks! (still a little mad at the Yu Yu gang for not caring about her summer camp) And now I get to continue my revenge.

Yusuke: (sitting back) What do I care, I'm not even in this!

FW: Not yet anyway….

Yusuke: Sh#t.

FW: So my shout outs, bit-Blackmage, you're right about Mary-Sue overdose. I was thinking about writing something like this about them. They're pure evil…. EVIL! Uh, you didn't just read that. So, ryougabriellucile, heh heh, so my little end note's actually good for something? Just kidding! Glad you're liking it so far. Hope I don't disappoint with this next chapter-

Hiei: But we know she will.

FW: Hey, don't forget, you're one of the members, and I'm all ready mad at you, get where I'm going with this?

Kuwabara: No.

FW: I wasn't talking to you! But what the hey, I'll get you too! (smiles "angelically")

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, NSync, the Stairmaster, or Jaws

START

It had been about an hour since the four demons had joined forces, and now they all sit silently at Kurama's kitchen table, pondering their next move.

"So… what does this club actually do?" Kuronue asked, tracing an invisible design on his pendant.

"You thought of the idea, I assumed you'd know," Kurama groaned, now realizing how pointless this all was.

"If I may add my two sence-" Karasu began.

"No," Hiei immediately cut him off.

"How rude!" Karasu yelled, throwing a knife that just happened to be on the table at the fire apparition, who caught it in midair. Hiei just rolled his eyes.

So they all sat quietly for another 20 minutes.

"Karasu, what were you going to say?" The fox asked, desperate to do something, ANYTHING.

Karasu grinned, earning the honor of actually being asked to speak. "We can't fight an enemy we don't understand, so maybe we should… try out this yaoi for ourselves."

They all stared at him.

"Let's pretend we didn't hear that," Kurama finally broke the silence, still a little… disturbed. The other two hastily nodded.

"What?" Karasu wondered aloud.

"I know!" Kuronue spoke up next. "We just need to prove we aren't gay! By finding manly things to do!"

"Like what?" Hiei spat, annoyed at how stupid this meeting was. "We murder everyday, if that isn't "manly" then what is?"

"Boy bands?" Kurama suggested.

"Are. You. Kidding?" Kuronue choked out.

"No," Kurama answered, not seeing what the big deal was. "NSync was very masculine."

Hiei gently placed his hand on the fox's shoulder. Like a true friend, he said, "Shut up before I am forced to rip your arm off and beat you to death with it."

Wisely shutting his mouth, the redhead's eye then caught on an advertisement his mother had posted on the refridgerater, with intentions of looking it up later. He gracefully stood and walked over, taking it down. "We could do this," he said. "Maji Gym. It's supposed to be the best in Japan."

The other three crowded around him to see the small newspaper clipout. "One month free trial…" Kuronue read.

"Hn."

"Karasu…."

"Yes?"

"I don't like you standing directly behind me," Kurama said.

"I do," he heard the voice and narrowed his eyes.

"Point made."

Within the hour, they had made it to the gym and were in the weight room, deciding what they were supposed to do next.

Not waiting for the others to figure it out, the redhead lay back on a bench press (FW: Those are the things where you lay back and lift one of the bars with the weights at the end. At least, I think so….), and started practicing, lifting 10 pounds to start.

Kuronue watched, standing by his head with his arms folded. "You can do more than that," he stated.

The fox glared up at him through the sweat starting to trickle down his forehead. "No I can't."

Kuronue glared back. "Yes you can. As Youko, you could lift 10 times that much!" He exclaimed. "Here, you'll see," he added, suddenly shoving on 80 more pounds, 40 on each side.

Slowly, the bar began to sink, getting dangerously close to Kurama's chest. "Kuronue… I can't… lift it!" He said, desperately.

"Sure you can!" Kuronue grinned. He opened his eyes, not having noticed they were closed, expecting to see his old friend pulling through. Instead, he just saw said friend's blue face, with the bar slowly crushing him. "WHAT THE HE#l!" He yelled, quickly assisting in yanking the bar up.

Lucky to still have his ribs intact, Kurama was content to just breathe heavily for a moment, not moving.

"Sorry 'bout that. You ok…?" The bat leaned over, getting on the bench himself, their faces pretty close.

Barely getting his wind back, the fox struggled to speak. "Camera… you… moron."

"Camera?" Kuronue questioned. He looked up from the out of breath demon, now noticing the camera men, taping every second. He looked down at the position he and his friend were in. "Uh…." One of the cameramen gave a thumbs-up and hequickly got away from the redhead. "We were NOT doing that!"

Karasu watched from the Stairmaster. "Kuronue, I thought you said you WEREN'T gay."

Kuronue glared daggers. "Look who's talking. A boy on the Stairmaster, how gay is that?"

"I AM gay."

"Oh yeah…."

Hiei was smart enough to stay out of the picture completely.

Desiding the weight room just plain wasn't working, the four set off to the indoor pool. Hiei looked at the water, as though it had personally insulted him. "No." He said, and leaned against the wall.

Karasu was also looking at the water, then turned back to Kurama, before looking back at the liquid. "If Kurama should convienently start drowning, I can be the hero and save him!" He thought. Mind made, he suddenly shoved Kurama into the pool.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" The crow yelled for dramatic purposes.

"I can swim," Kurama sweat dropped, or maybe it was just the water.

"Oh…" Karasu looked slightly put out by this news. He glanced at Kuronue, who was sitting at the edge. "Can you swim?" He asked.

"No, I'm a bat," Kuronue stated.

"Good."

Kuronue found himself also pushed into the water.

"I'LL SAVE YOUR FRIEND FOR YOU!" Karasu yelled, diving in. Sadly, he didn't have very good aim, and fell directly ontop of the bat, who was already flailing madly, just trying to stay afloat.

Panicking for his friend's life, Kurama swam over as fast as he could. Kuronue, not thinking anymore, grabbed the closest afloat object, which happened to be Kurama himself. So the two went under together.

Slowly, Karasu surfaced, empty handed. Shrugged, he climbed the latter, not noticing that two members of his "team" were missing.

Cursing his luck, Hiei dove in after them, prying Kuronue's strong hands off Kurama's wrist, and dragged his up, trusting Kurama to surface on his own. The three successfully made it out, two of them spitting up water. Hiei stared accusingly at Karasu.

"What?" The crow asked, innocently.

Hiei didn't answer.

"Love makes you do crazy thing!" He tried to defend himself.

"Maybe you're just crazy," Hiei muttered.

As they left the gym completely, realizing they weren't getting anywhere, the cameramen hurried off with their yaoi "evidence".

Back at his house, Kurama was surfing the net again, when a pop up announced "Proof of Kurama, Hiei, Kuronue, Karasu foursome!"

Gagging, they gathered around to see it. Hiei worked up the courage to click the "click me!".

Inside, was the edited version of what had happened. They'd cut out the bar weight almost killing the fox, just showed Kuronue practically on top of him, with Kurama out of breath. They even dubbed his voice, to make him say… less appropriate things.

"I do NOT sound like that," Kuronue growled.

The others sh'ed him as the next clip came on. It was of Hiei diving in to save the other two, exept the geniuses decided to add a really fake looking Jaws, making Hiei's save look even more heroic. Apparently the dubbers didn't notice that it was "A FRICKIN' POOL!" as Kuronue pointed out.

The last clip was entitled "Karasu'll take whatever he can get" and was of said crow diving on Kuronue. Kuronue inched a little farther from the crow.

Kurama shut down his pc angrily. "We've just made ourselves look even more gay."

END CHAPTER 2

FW: Truth be told, I like the Stairmaster!

Hiei: Why do we care?  
FW: You don't. I just had to get that off my chest. Ok, so I'm not mad at you guys anymore.

Crickets: Chirp, chirp.

FW: I don't even get that. Anyway, review if you feel up to it, but don't force yourself. If you decide to flame, ok, I'll take it in stride!


	3. Girlfriends?

FW: See! SOMEONE cares about my summer camp! (thanks a mill DarknessesShadow-sama!)

Yusuke: If it'll make you shut up, just tell us about your stupid camp!

FW: They… put make-up on me….

Yu Yu Gang: (stare)

FW: And… they painted my nails! (holds up chipped, but blue, fingernails)

Yusuke: All that complaining, because they made you look like a girl?

FW: Yeah.

Hiei: Permission to kill?

Botan: Now Hiei, Koenma wouldn't approve-

Yusuke: Go ahead.

FW: Better make this quick then, AmnarJoey-sama, all I've got to say, is SILVER ROCKS!

Kurama: What?  
FW: (ignores him) And Renard Roux-sama, well, no opinion is better than a bad one, right?

Kurama: Not always.

FW: Whatever. Time to write.

Kuronue: (runs by, with XforbiddenFoxX-san still chasing him)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

Note: Sorry, but I forgot all the titles (san/sama) for last chapter's shout outs.

START

Back at headquarters, aka, Kurama's kitchen table, they were again plotting their next move.

"Girlfriends," Kuronue spoke up.

"What?" The other three asked, perplexed.

"We need girlfriends," he elaborated. "You can't be gay if you have a girlfriend."

Kurama slowly nodded, understanding his logic.

Hiei even grudgingly agreed.

"It shouldn't be hard either," Kuronue continued, not yet noticing Karasu's horror stricken eyes. "We've all got hundreds of fangirls, even if most are…"

"Psychotic," Hiei finished.

"At this point, I'll try anything. Meeting adjourned until we all have girlfriends," Kurama ended the meeting. They all stood, and shook hands with everyone at the table, a political tradition. The crow had refused to let go of the redhead's hand, however, and now sported several bruises.

It was easy to find a decent looking, and very interested woman, Kurama soon found. He successfully had a girlfriend in 12 minutes since deciding to look for one.

Her name was Amber, she had long brown hair, and bright pink eyes, which reminded the fox of Botan. She was tall, unnaturally tall, but for some reason, Kurama didn't think anything of it. He was already under her spell.

As predetermined, they all met in the park in one hour. The other three members had failed miserably, and there were a lot of female human deaths unaccounted for, but Kurama didn't press it.

Kuronue looked her up and down. "Still in the game, I see," he said sneakily.

"Her name's Amber," he introduced, grinning slightly.

She flicked her hair arrogantly. "Of course, you can call me the Makai Princess," she added, with what she assumed was a "cool" tone.

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "You're not from Makai," he stated.

"Yes I am! You should know better than anyone, dear brother," she added.

"My only sister is Yukina," Hiei spat, to her surprise, unaffected by her spell.

She faltered, ruining her "cool" atmosphere. "Oh right, you… got amnesia. I forgot…" she said lamely. "Well, I don't blame you," she quickly regained her arrogance, "what with my being away, and saving Koenma's butt all the time."

Kuronue frowned. "You couldn't save anyone's butt. You don't have a drop of aura…."

"Yes well, I'm a master swordsman too."

Karasu, who had been glaring at "HIS" Kurama's new girlfriend in jealousy the whole time, now took the opportunity to send a tiny bomb at her… and kill her on the spot.

The spell was instantly broken.

"Karasu!" Kurama yelled, shocked.

"You can thank me later," he said simply.

"What?"

Hiei shook his head. "I expected you to be more careful. Can't you recognize a Mary-Sue?"

It finally started to click. "Wait, how come you all weren't affected?"

Hiei smirked. "She was pretending to be my sister." Kurama nodded, it would be pretty nasty for him to fall for relatives.

Kuronue shrugged. "Not my type."

Karasu had a more obvious reason. "There's only one I see in the field of love."

Nobody commented.

"Perhaps this is the wrong approach?" Kurama suggested. "Instead of dating women we don't know, who could be Mary-Sues, maybe we should try women we DO know."

"Yukina is off limits," Hiei instantly called. They nodded, two having no clue who this Yukina was in the first place.

They split up again, and Kuronue was unfortunate enough to stumble upon Keiko. Which in itself wasn't so bad, what was, Kuronue decided she was worthy of being his.

"Come on babe, we ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do like they do in the Makai!" Kuronue smiled, somewhat intimidating to the smaller girl.

"Uh… no thanks?" Keiko sputtered, backing into a wall.

Coming from seemingly nowhere, Yusuke was of course at her aid in seconds, mouth swearing and fists flying.

From somewhere in the back of his mind, the bat remembered this was a VERY close friend of Kurama's, and to kill him would be a serious friendship breaker. With that in mind, he made it a point to get away without murder, preferably with the girl.

Hiei stalked down the street, ticked. Like heck was he going to go out with ANYONE. The choices left weren't so great either.

Yukina: His sister.

Keiko: Yusuke's girl.

Botan: Overly happy, and just plain annoying.

Shizuru: Probably the best from the list, but still shared his enemy's blood.

Genkai: Old. What more could he say?

And that about covered it. Hiei gave up on the idea there and just headed back to headquarters.

Karasu wasn't too thrilled either. Not only did he not know anyone from the list of "available" girls, but he wasn't even into girls!

He also got the idea to head back for the Minamino house, if for no other reason than to just be creepy in Kurama's room. There, he found a woman. She was about middle aged, but not too bad looking. Her life force was familiar, though he knew he'd never met her before. Something about her… reminded him of Kurama.

He shrugged, deciding if he HAD to pick a female, this was the one.

Kurama, going back home with Botan beside him, was in for a shock. Hiei sat on his favorite tree outside his room window, giving a silent nod in acknowledgement. Kurama nodded back, and opened the door to find, or really, hear, Shiori screaming.

Leaving Botan behind, Kurama hurried toward the sound of the disturbance, "Mother!" he yelled, fearing the worst.

Whatever he imagined though, this was worse.

In his own room, Karasu with one hand wrapped firmly around his mom's wrist, while she was screaming bloody murder and trying to pull away.

Sensing his friend was upset, Hiei jumped in through the window, ready to assist in combat if necessary.

"Hello Kurama!" Karasu chirped.

"Let. Her. Go," the greeted one said with barely restrained fury.

"Why? She's to be my girlfriend, unless of course you'll take the position," Karasu asked.

"How can I be a GIRLfriend?"

"You know what I mean!" Karasu rolled his eyes. "But if you don't want to, that's fine. She's surprisingly familiar. Her energy's, much weaker, but I think she has a trace of you in her."

"She's my mother!" Kurama exploded.

"Oh…" the crow looked down at his capture. "That explains a lot… off limits then?"

"YES!"

Looking put out, he gently let her go. Kurama quickly modified her memory.

The both turned toward an explosion downstairs. "Kuronue," they all decided in union.

They hurried downstairs, and soon found themselves to be right.

Kuronue had managed to kidnap Keiko after all, but he hadn't lost Yusuke.

"GET BACK HERE FLY-BOY!" The detective roared, fingers in position to spirit gun Kurama's whole house.

"Yusuke, don't!" Kurama yelled, and he tackled his pointing friend just before the blast left his finger, reaiming it to the sky.

Kurama let of a sigh of relief as Yusuke roughly shoved him off. "What was that for? He's got Keiko!"

Kurama turned back to the house. "Kuronue, forgive me for forgetting to mention, but if you value your life, that human is also off limits."

Sadly, the bat released his prize, who ran crying into Yusuke's arms. "Who-"

"Kuronue. Former thief, friend of mine, not gay," the fox introduced quickly, not in the mood for long stories.

Botan, who hadn't been properly asked out, had no idea what she was doing there and gladly followed her two leaving friends.

"Failure?" Karasu asked of their unappinted leader, Kurama.

"I think that word fits this situation well," he said, watching his "girlfriend" go.

"Well, at least we're still single!" Karasu purred, getting closer to Kurama.

"That defeats the purpose," Kurama glared, knowing the cameramen would have a field day with their new footage.

END CHAPTER 3

FW: I hate Mary-Sue's. Couldn't resist making fun of them. And that whole "let's do it like they do in the Makai" thing, one of my friends actually suggested that on ME.

Kuwabara: (shudders)

FW: Oh shut up!

Hiei: He never said anything.

FW: You too! Anyway, review if you feel like it, and if you flame, ok. I'LL TAKE IT IN STRIDE!


	4. Fresh Meat! I mean, New Members!

FW: Wow, this was a long time in the making.

Readers: (glare)

FW: Hm, seems I get a lot of those….

Yu Yu gang: (glare because of her existence)

FW: Well, this time I'll give fair warning: I'm going on vacation tomorrow, and I won't be back for, what was it… a week? So don't hold your breath.

XforbiddenFoxX-san: (killing Kuronue with love, aka, hugging him WAY too fiercely)

FW: Uh… Fox-

Kurama: Hm?

FW: Not you. OTHER Fox, you kinda… need to let go now…. He's a little important to the story, ya know?

XforbiddenFoxX-san: (sadly lets go)

Kuronue: (breathing hard) My… lawyer's going… to hear… about… this….

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

FW: Not anymore. DarknessesShadow-sama, thanks for the idea I'm about to use!

START

Yusuke was for once at the library. He wasn't doing schoolwork, mind you; he was using the public internet to find… less appropriate things.

Behind him, Kuwabara scowled. "Urameshi, are you done yet?" He whined. "If Yukina knew…" he hung his head sadly.

Yusuke brushed off his complaining. "Just keep a look out for Keiko. That's all I need, is for her to see…" he shuddered, picturing her often times dangerous wraith. "Besides, you said you'd do whatever it took to help out "a friend in need"," he grinned, remembering the other boy showing off for his oblivious love.

"Since when do you need help looking up por-" he stopped in mid-word as the librarian looked up in his general direction. "THAT stuff," he finished, voice lowered.

"Since Keiko found the stash in my room."

Just then,the altered video of the Yaoi Fighters failed attempts in the gym popped up. Curious as to what Hiei and Kurama had gotten themselves into, Yusuke clicked to watch. His mouth dropped. This wasn't one of those flash videos, it was real!

"Urameshi, I think we should, F#CK!" Kuwabara screamed, unable to stop himself from swearing when seeing Karasu dive onto Kuronue.

"Kuwabara, I didn't know you felt that way," the detective said jokingly, having heard the taller boy's statement. Apparently, the librarian heard too, because, bright red, she ushered both out.

"Well, see you tomorrow- hey! Where're you going?" The biggest punk yelled at his friend, who was going the wrong way.

"Kurama's house," Kuwabara answered, not even stopping. Yusuke ran to catch up.

"What for? You guys throwing a party without telling me?"

"No you idiot. You saw that video, I just want to know what's going on," Kuwabara looked straight ahead, his eyes full of purpose.

"Oh come on," Yusuke tried to reason with him. "Those weren't real!"

"They looked real to me."

"But JAWS?" Too bad by now Kuwabara wasn't really listening.

At Kurama's house...

"Kuronue, stop it," Kurama muttered, no longer even moving his head to watch the bat's antics.

Theformer thief flew/glided down the stairs at top speed, careful avoid all Shiori's knick-knacks. Defeated, he sat in what he now considered his seat at the table. "But Kurama, they keep following me!" He tried to reason with his friend.

Sure enough, the cameramen had kept up with him all threw his swift journey threw the house, outside, and anywhere else he tried to go to lose them.

Kurama shrugged.

The doorbell rang, and the fox stood to answer it.

"I'll get it!" Karasu said happily, already gliding toward the door.

"No you won't, it's my house!" Kurama yelled, grabbing the crow's cape and yanking him back down. The two scuffled on the floor a little, reminding Hiei of fish out of water. His eye twitched. That once the most feared thief in all the Makai would be reduced to this….

The doorbell rang again.

"So, are you going to get that?" Kuronue asked, casually drinking from a soda can.

Glaring, Hiei ran over to the door before someone could even blink. He opened it, and his glare strengthened when seeing Kuwabara. He ignored Yusuke.

The two stepping inside their friend's house, then noticing said friend and his archrival grappling on the floor. "Shouldn't we do something?" Yusuke asked, staring bewildered.

The cameramen hastily shook their heads, wanting to get it all on tape.

Deciding the random men's wishes weren't really that important, the teenagers managed to break up the crow and fox, Yusuke holding back Kurama, and Kuwabara holding back Karasu.

Karasu glared, and Yusuke got the impression if he weren't wearing his mask, they'd all be seeing foot long fangs, which was really a stupid impression because that mask wasn't a foot long, therefore couldn't hide something that was a foot long, but this is all beside the point.

Anyway, Karasu glared. "It seems just my luck that the ugly one should be restraining me, instead of the stronger, more attractive one."

Kuwabara burned in fury, and Yusuke wasn't too thrilled either. Kurama, however, relaxed at the crow's statement. "For once, he's not talking about me," he thought.

Feeling the fox grow lax in his arms, Yusuke was reminded of his presence, and why they were here. "Hey Kurama?"

"Yes?"

"Are you gay?"

His moment of relaxation was over, and Kurama flared up at once. "No!" He almost yelled. Kuronue and Hiei even laughed a little.

Quickly recapping, the four told the new two about the Yaoi Fighters, and all the misunderstandings. Naturally, Karasu's choice of Shiori was left out.

"Yaoi Fighters huh," Kuwabara murmured when they were done. "Who's lame idea was that name?"

Changing the subject, Yusuke said, "Well, that's great and all, but the arcade's calling my name, you know?"

"No, we don't know. Those voices are INSIDE your head, remember?" Hiei did what did best, insult.

Grinning, Yusuke turned to go, Kuwabara by his side.

"Hold up, we could always use more members," Kuronue stopped them.

"Yeah well, we don't need to join, who'd write yaois about us?" Yusuke reasoned, cocky.

"You'd be surprised," Kurama muttered.

"Yeah," Kuwabara thought out loud, not having heard Kurama. "I've got Yukina, and Urameshi's into Keiko, we're safe!"

Kurama glanced at Hiei and Kuronue. "Should we show them?"

"I don't know. It could put them in shock," Kuronue brought a finger to his chin, mock thinking.

"Show them," Hiei decided, wanting to see their reaction, ever the sadistic one.

"Don't you want to know MY opinion?" Karasu asked, leaning against the wall, almost forgotten.

"No," five voices chimed.

Smirking evilly, the four originals then led the "fresh meat" to the computers.

Six pictures and two videos later, "We're in," both said in union, horror written all over their faces.

Smiling good naturedly, Kurama passed the paper for them to sign.

"…Kuronue spelled his name wrong…."

Meanwhile, at the library….

Keiko WAS there for schoolwork, and she needed to check a certain current event online. She signed her name in, right under the last user: Yusuke Urameshi.

She knew she shouldn't. She knew she wouldn't like what she saw. But curiosity got the better of her. The computer mouse slowly moved up to the history button on the tools bar, and clicked it.

She gasped at what popped up. "Yusuke. I'm going to kill you," she said through clenched teeth, fists shaking by her sides.

At the Yaoi Fighters headquarters, Yusuke sneezed. He looked over at his best friend. "We DID remember to erase my name from the sign in, right?" He asked, hopefully. When Kuwabara's eyes lit up in remembrance, Yusuke groaned, putting his head on the desk. "I'm dead."

END CHAPTER 4

FW: Short, but it's there at least. And as I've said before, I have no idea what I'm going to do with this thing!

Youko: (minding his own business)

FW: (staring at Youko)

Youko: What?  
FW: I think I've just gotten an idea….

Youko: (slowly backs away) No….

Karasu: Kurama, Youko, Kurama, Youko… I can't chose between them!

Kurama: Than do the noble thing and chose neither.

Hiei: And commit suicide in grief.

Karasu: Ok! (runs off to commit suicide)

FW: No! We need him! (runs off to save Karasu. Yells as she runs) If you review, great, if not, great. You can flame too, I'll take it in stride!


	5. Rooming With the Enemy

FW: (has managed to save Karasu and is restricting him via chains) Well, this took longer than I'd hoped.

Hiei: Hn. Not nearly long enough.

FW: Ya know, you guys are ALWAYS insulting me. Would it KILL you to say ONE nice thing every now and then?

Yusuke: You're not an OLD hag, just a hag.

Kurama: You hold the record in lunch detentions.

Hiei: We only have to see you a few times a week.

FW: Remind me to never ask for that again. (hides from the spoiler Oku-San The Monk-sama gave) NOOOOOOOOO! Heh, just kidding. Been reading about the 3 kings stuff for years. BHS-sama… uh… well, whatever keeps you happy. But don't expect to see that on this fic! (semi-nervous smile) So now that those are out of the way, time for some fun! Youko! Come heeeereeee….

Youko: (wisely hiding)

FW: Well, I'll find him sooner or later.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and I don't own Jaws, which I forgot to mention last chapter, or "I Believe I Can Fly", the song.

START

Because three of the members had to go to school the next day, meetings were halted until the weekend. Hiei simply did whatever he normally did, and Kuronue and Karasu hid in Kurama's closet, not really fitting in with the human world. SEPARATE closets, to be more specific.

They were both given meals twice a day, Kuronue's share considerably bigger. Thus, Karasu was often complaining loudly late at night, and Kurama was forced to listen to heavy metal music via headphones to drown him out.

So when Friday came and Shiori went on her weekend business trip, it was no surprise that Kurama was more than happy.

The four originals were at headquarters, waiting patiently for their new members to arrive. They were two hours late in counting, and Kuronue was now on his eighth can of soda, having grown very fond of the drink. "Not a good sign," Kurama thought wearily, hoping the other two would show up before Kuronue lost whatever was left of his common sense.

As if God were personally answering his prayers, the boys came to the doorstep that minute, both grinning sheepishly.

Wearily, Kurama opened the door.

Accompanying them was a dog. It was about knee-high, and was white with black spots. Before Kurama could refuse, they had all but pushed him aside, entering his house with the canine.

"What is that doing here?" The fox asked, a bit annoyed.

"Well we couldn't just leave him on the street!" Kuwabara said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And I couldn't take him home; I've got a cat!"

The redhead turned to the other arrival, Yusuke, who shrugged apologetically.

By now, the other demons had gathered around the dog, curious as to the small commotion. They had all been so bored, anything would have encouraged them to leave that kitchen.

"What is it?" Karasu asked, never having before met a human world dog.

"It's a Dalmatian!" Kuwabara stated proudly.

"Kuwabara…" Kurama frowned, looking closer at the animal in question. "A Dalmatian's spots don't move."

They all leaned forward a bit, noticing their friend was right. The black spots were shifting, and moving around completely.

Yusuke jumped back in alarm. "IT'S POSSESSED!" He yelled, eyes wide.

"No…" Kurama said, realization dawning on him. "You… you… IDIOTS, brought FLEAS, into my home!" He tried to control himself, but as if waiting for that cue, the bugs jumped from the mutt and found new homes. In the carpet, the furniture, and the boys around them.

"My hair!" Karasu screeched, scratching his scalp in horror as the black attackers nested there.

Kuronue flew to the ceiling as fast as he could, hoping to avoid them in the air, but sadly, those tiny things could JUMP.

Hiei stood there, unconcerned, having raised his body heat enough to fry any insect that touched him.

Kuwabara and Yusuke, the immature morons they were, had quickly made a song to the tune of "I Believe I Can Fly". Singing at the top of their lungs, and not very well, the house was filled with, "I've got fleas in my face… I've got fleas all over the place… I've even got fleas in my hair… I've got fleas everywhere…"

Kurama was already calling the exterminator.

And the pure white dog that had started all this? Happily, and without any fleas anymore, he trotted out the door to eat out of some poor person's trashcan.

Two hours and sixteen showers later at a public bathhouse, the six had rented an apartment room for the weekend.

"You could have just stayed at my place," Yusuke pointed out again, to which Kurama glared.

"I've seen your house."

So it went. They managed to stay relatively peaceful, until a tiny problem came up at night….

"There's two beds," Hiei stated gruffly, glancing about the small room.

"Two to a bed then, and two on the floor," Kuronue decided, doing the math easily.

Yusuke started to give a running leap to one of them, but Kurama grabbed him in mid-jump, bringing him back to Earth with a start. "You and Kuwabara will be taking the floor," he said sternly.

"WHAT?" Both yelled angrily.

"Why?" Kuwabara demanded.

"For bringing fleas into my house."

"Oh yeah…." So without further complaining, the teenagers settled onto the blue carpet.

Karasu slinked up beside the fox. "I call sharing a bed with Kurama."

Desperately, Kurama looked at Hiei. Feeling something resembling pity for his friend, Hiei settled himself into the open windowsill for the night. Quickly realizing the possibility of this, Kurama grinned and said, "That won't be necessary. You may have your own bed, while Kuronue and I share."

The bat grinned at his former partner's narrow escape, but Karasu sulked and locked himself in the bathroom.

By the time he came back out, it was past 3 am. Everyone else in the room was asleep, just as he'd planned. Keeping his wild giggles to a minimum, he crept to the two beds, moving past the first, which contained a dark haired creature with wings, towards the lighter haired, more human looking one. The one he headed to had the covers pulled up right to his closed eyes.

It was a moonless night, and difficult to see, but Karasu could read the human energy coming off him, and, very pleased with himself for his trickery, slipped under the covers next to the other boy. He had blacked out within seconds. Had he been more awake, he may have noticed key details….

A few hours later, Karasu slowly awoke, and, feeling no movement beside him, deduced the fox must still be asleep. Grinning, he opened his eyes, fully expecting to see the fair face of his crush. Not Kuwabara's drooling one.

In utter horror, the crow screamed, heard a small "click", and woke up Kuwabara, who also screamed.

Hiei, Kuronue, and Kurama stood by the window, smirking, Kurama holding a throwaway camera, the source of the "click". At the loud sounds coming from his fellow "fighters", Yusuke jerked awake from the floor, looking for the fire.

Kurama walked by his shocked friend, and horrified stalker to locate his hairbrush. "I had a suspicion you would try something like that," he started to explain. This was too good an opportunity to not gloat. "So I offered my bed to Kuwabara, who gladly accepted."

Appalled, the tallest detective turned to his friend. "How could you do something like this to me?" He demanded, clearly angry.

Kurama grinned, a little evilly. "Consider yourself forgiven for the fleas."

Yusuke was also glaring at the redhead. "You told your demon buddies, but not me?" He asked.

"Yes well, you're forgiven as well."

Seeing the "fun" about over, Kuronue strode to the door, promising to be back within the hour, just needing some breakfast. Naturally, Yusuke had wanted to go, but seeing as how his best friend had lost his appetite for valid reasons, he figured he'd be a good friend and look after him. So that left the bat alone.

He found the breakfast bar well enough, but the endless buffet of bacon, eggs, toast, waffles, cereal, apples, and, er, other stuff, wasn't what made his mouth drop open in shock. It was a silver haired boy with fox ears on his head.

"Youko?"

END CHAPTER 5

FW: Jeez, I'm really evil. Make you wait this long for a cliffhanger.

Kuwabara: (needs therapy)

Karasu: (glaring at everyone and everything)

FW: Uh, fun? And the whole fleas thing, that song was invented by my brother. That vacation we went on, the house was infested with fleas. That's where the motivation for this came from. Except WE didn't get to leave. We had to tough it out.

Youko: (points and laughs)

FW: REAL mature.

Ice Cream Truck: (drives by)

FW: ICE CREAM! (chases it) If you want to review, cool, if not, cool. And flame too, if you feel like it. I'll take it in stride!


	6. Amounting to Nothing

FW: Guess who's back… back again… I am back… tell a friend… hi anyone who's reading this!

Yusuke: Jeez, I thought we were finally rid of you…

FW: No. Just band eating my life again. (sigh) The only reason I can write now is because I'm sick and skipping school! Speaking of which… (stares at Kuwabara and Yusuke, who are also skipping school, but for less plausible reasons)

Kuwabara and Yusuke: (grin)

FW: So anyway, thanks for all the reviews while I was gone! I just logged on and was like "Holy crap! This is awesome!" Now to acknowledge my fans-

Yu Yu gang: (cough cough)

FW: Fine fine! To acknowledge… people, lazy fat kitsune-sama, you don't have mush self-esteem, do you? Anyway, (hands you some ice) er, yeah. JustAnotherReject-sama, thanks for the review! You still have that website? I'd like to go there…. Tabby-san, OMG, YOU ROCK! FUDGICLES! (runs away)

Yu Yu gang: (cheers)

FW: (runs back) Almost forgot! I have a story to write!

Yu Yu gang: NOOO!

FW: (pockets the $5 DarknessesShadow-sama gave her) Heh heh… no more ice cream, so I'm sure Shadow-sama won't mind….

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Lord of the Rings

START

(quick recap)

He (Kuronue) found the breakfast bar well enough, but the endless buffet of bacon, eggs, toast, waffles, cereal, apples, and, er, other stuff, wasn't what made his mouth drop open in shock. It was a silver haired boy with fox ears on his head.

"Youko?"

(actual story)

Youko turned at the sound of his name, his golden eyes only barely lightening at the sight of his long-lost friend. For the most part, said eyes remained frosty, and it didn't take Kuronue long to realize why.

Youko was wearing the green apron uniform of the hotel.

So Kuronue, being the great friend he was, pointed and laughed. Until Youko whacked him off the head with the tray of tatter tots he was carrying.

The bat gingerly rubbed his now aching head, and asked as casually as he could, "What are you doing here?" He paused, and asked a more important question. "How did you get out of Kurama?"

Youko shrugged. "I wasn't really paying attention when Koenma tried to explain." His eyes got a more distracted and faraway look to them. "He has so many shiny paperweights…."

Together, the two thieves reminisced about shiny objects, completely forgetting the matter at hand.

The other five yaoi fighters eventually decided Kuwabara was well enough to stop throwing up, and came down to breakfast as well. They all froze at the sight of Youko. Then turned to stare at Kurama. Then back and forth.

Trying to stay calm, the red-haired fox confronted the silver haired one. "Youko," he greeted carefully. The other two forgot their shiny talk instantly, and focused on the speaker. "What's going on?"

Youko shrugged. "Koenma's not very good at explaining things."

Yusuke, who had followed with the others, started at the statement. "He knows? And he didn't bother to tell us the most psychotic thief is on the loose again?"

Youko smirked, and Kuronue glared. "Who are you to name the most psychotic thief?"

Kuwabara was still trying to figure out how he recognized the other. "Wait a sec… you beat up Karasu!"

Karasu summoned a few bombs, but Hiei sliced them all with his sword before any exploded. For some reason, upon destruction, they didn't blow up.

"Maybe we should just ask Koenma," Hiei suggested, "we're a little too interesting to stay here."

He was right. Most people in the room were staring at the kids with strange features, and eying the shortest suspiciously. Few people carry swords around, and fewer swing them at imaginary targets. (Not everyone can see the bombs)

Without another word, they all left.

Also without paying their bill.

Koenma had been expecting a normal, quiet day. What a moron. Still, he couldn't have been expecting to see his four spirit detectives, plus Kuronue, Karasu, and Youko.

"Um… hello," he said lamely, very conscious of his fuming "friends".

"Would you care to explain," The human-fox started, keeping his cool for now, "why my other half is separated from me?"

"And why he works at a hotel," Kuronue added, smirking at the other, more annoyed thief. Then they both noticed the paperweights again, and went perfectly silent, not to speak again for the rest of the meeting.

Koenma gulped audibly. "Well, you see, there was a problem with you two staying in the same body…" he started. "It wouldn't work anymore, so I had to remove him."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "There was never a problem before," he pointed out.

"Yes well, with age, the spirit grows," Koenma explained, gaining more confidence as he spoke. "The body grows too, to keep a balance, but with Kurama, there are two spirits. It's always been pretty packed in there, but as he gets older, even more. If they weren't separated, eventually, they would have fused."

Kurama's eyes widened, and he muttered, "I never even noticed…."

Hiei still didn't entirely believe Koenma though. Through the time he'd "served" as a detective, he'd learned Koenma often knows more than he says, until someone intimidates him to talk, or beats it out of him. He preferred the second of course, but… "How did you find a body exactly like Youko's old one?" He pressed.

Koenma stared. "Actually, one of the ogres found it. I have no idea where it came from."

They sweat dropped. "You didn't bother to ask?" Kuwabara said, stunned.

"No. And as for working at the hotel, I had to have something to keep him from stealing, so I stuck him in there." They all raised an eyebrow.

"And Youko never even asked why?" Yusuke asked, stunned. "I thought he was supposed to be smart…."

"You know," Kurama said, "in a roundabout way, you're insulting me by saying that." Yusuke laughed nervously.

Koenma ignored all this and finished explaining. "I knew he wasn't really listening. Few people drool when they are," he purposely ignored Kuwabara, who was looking straight at him, but drooling anyway. "So when I showed him to the hotel and said he would be working here, I just had to say I explained it all yesterday for him to agree." He laughed at his own cleverness. "Youko's not stupid enough to say he wasn't paying attention and risk jail time."

They all nodded, preparing to leave, before Karasu dove onto Koenma's desk, knocking the paperweights aside and breaking the thieves trance. He leaned closer to Koenma, and growled, "Why didn't you tell anyone then? Don't you think I, at least, deserved to know!"

Koenma stared. "Why would you be entitled to that knowledge?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE THEM!" He said dramatically. Youko and Kurama rolled their eyes. "If I fail with Kurama, at least I have a second chance with Youko!"

"Should we leave now?" Kurama whispered to his other half, who hastily nodded.

Quickly and quietly, everyone but Karasu and Koenma left the office.

"Uh, guys…?" Koenma called weakly.

Back at the human world, they six celebrated. "HE'S GONE!" They all yelled, and a passerby whose great-great-great-grandfather just died burst into tears and ran away.

"We can get a new member now!" Yusuke said triumphantly.

Hiei thought for a second, then turned to Kurama, "Yomi?" He asked.

"No," both Kurama's said in union.

"Why not?" Kuwabara asked. "Didn't you go work for him, or something?"

Kurama shuddered. "He's definitely gay."

Yusuke chuckled, before realizing something. "Wait a sec, you worked for, and stayed, at a gay man's house?" He rushed forward to shake the redhead's shoulders harshly. "What is wrong with you!" Hiei, Youko, and Kuronue worked together to pry him off.

"Yes well, I didn't think it would be a problem," he said somberly. "Until I woke up in the middle of the night and he was… there," Kurama finished, again shuddering.

Youko shook his head sadly. "He was like that even in my time. I'd have thought you had the sense to stay away from that goat."

"So… now what?" Kuwabara asked after they'd all fallen uncomfortably silent for a few minutes.

No one seemed to have an answer.

"We haven't actually gotten anywhere with this club…" Kuronue pointed out slowly. "Maybe we should just drop it."

One by one, his "teammates" agreed.

So they all went their separate ways.

They all headed for their respective homes. Kurama, who had kept the paper with their signatures for the "Yaoi Fighters", smiled a little upon seeing it. Shaking his head, still grinning, he put it in a picture album he kept of his friends, to look upon later and laugh.

Youko grabbed the book and flipped through it himself. "Who's that?" He demanded, pointing to a random picture.

"Kuchiro."

"Who's that?"

"Manomota-san."

"Who's that?"

"…You really can't tell?

"Just tell me who it is, HUMAN."

"…Hiei…" Kurama sighed, taking the book from the demon, and closing it so as to keep himself from getting a headache.

"Hiei, seriously? I thought it might be at first, but that Frodo plushy really isn't anything I thought I'd see him anywhere NEAR. Let alone hugging, and-"

Kurama just tuned him out after that. "This is going to take a lot of getting used to," he decided mentally.

Keiko was waiting for Yusuke at his house. "Oh Yusuke…" she fumed dangerously. "I was just at the library…."

END

FW: Well that's it. Not much of an ending, I know. But I don't know when the next time I'll be able to write is, so I figured I'd just get this out of the way now. Sirokage-san, I didn't have the time to actually ADD Yomi, so I just talked about him. Acceptable? Hope so. Well, thanks to everyone who read an/or reviewed! See ya next time! If you want to review a final time, cool. If not, cool. Flaming too. I'll take it in stride!


End file.
